Well, its about time that I make some serious plans for my life and try sticking to it as much as possible.

I'll have to live it down, but perk it up. Yes.

It sounds pretty easy. I wish it was easy, but things couldn't be harder than now. I've seem to have lost every ounce of optimism in me, and all fancy hopes on my passing days seems to have deserted me altogether.

I cried like a sorry ass quietly this morning in the bathroom. There's a recurring emotional lump in my throat I think its developing into an interminable disease. Never once in life I manage to get things perfect. Sure, nothing's perfect, but I believe some things are.

I'm finding it hard to even talk these days. I don't even mean communicate decently, just talk...you know, open your mouth and make some sound, -say some 'uhuh' here and 'ok' there. It takes a lot out of me.

And of course, my boyfriend is off to yet another trip with his friends... and as usual, while he's having a few great laughs over cigarettes and coffee, I'll be staying under my blankets making sure that no form of light seeps through it.